Today I had a good cry ( as if there were such a thing…). Damn facebook got me again.
I have written about my son’s marriage. You dream about your kids getting married, and if you are smart enough, you realize it is their day and will probably not be exactly what you planned. And, you are okay with that, for the most part.
My son married a woman that doesn’t like us. Period. Finds fault in everything, yells, curses and stews like noone I have ever met. And, loves my son, his daughter and works hard every day. Fights her own demons Im sure == and ignores us, rather than engaging in more drama.
Its a trade off, but for now, its working.
But today, facebook took me back to a video of a young couple’s wedding entrance. Dancing, hugging, sunglasses. Music, joy, laughter — bliss. And I sobbed. Yup, sobbed. Pent up tears from their wedding 10 months ago? Triggered by the happiness on the screen? Maybe. Mourning what could have been? Probably. Joes friends, and my sons in law would have loved this == I can picture each of them shaking down that aisle, celebrating. But, it didnt happen. Instead it was a “vanilla” wedding — banned from the bridal party, the celebrations and the preparation, our family attended, but did not participate. And while we were there physically and in spirit, it was a sad day for the right side of the aisle.
And today it kind of hit me.