I’m on Teacher Time

So, I retired 11 months ago from many years of teaching in the public school system.  Many reasons why, some of which can be found on my blog, but that’s not todays story.  Today I need to talk about “Teacher Time”.  You see, teachers have their own time frame —

the day starts at 7:00 am ( or 8:45 if you’re an elementary teacher) and ends, well, you know, it really never ends.

You pee every 90 minutes, and you can pee, wipe, wash your hands and check your lipstick in 3 minutes, getting you back to your room before the kids return from wherever the bell sent them.

You mark grilled cheese and tomato soup days on your calendar.

You wake before light.

You start, progress and finish everything in 10 weeks or less.  (This can cause problems if you go into the “normal” work world where people set, go figure, realistic timeframe goals for projects)

You have a “snowday” setting on your alarm clock

You know, EXACTLY, how many minutes it takes to get to work, you can figure in lights, stopped busses, deer running across the road and fog, and can still get there in time to have a cup of coffee.

Christmas break is Christmas break, no matter who wants to call it “winter” break.

Same goes for Easter.

Summer starts the day the last bell rings.

Which brings me to my point.  I have left many of the teacher time obsessions behind.  I make grilled cheese whenever I want, pee when I need to and start my day after I check the computer, have a cup of coffee and knit at least one row on whatever I’m working on at the moment.

But the Summer break thing haunts me.  I’ve been working with a non profit since the minute I retired ( the actual minute) and its been 11 months without a break.  Part time work for sure, nice, self directed schedule that only gets stressful occasionally, but steady.  And I am feeling that teacher time pull that says “you need a break”.   Not sure how I’m going to make my bosses understand….

 

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Please excuse my self-absorption

I will forget this and I will need to read it, over and over and over.  So, I apologize for my self absorption, but maybe some of you could benefit from this mantra also.

 

I do not have to drop everything on a Sunday morning and go to the mall with my 28 year old daughter and her 3 month old– even if dropping everything only involves turning off the computer and putting on a pair of sweat pants.

I do not have to babysit my grandchildren every day, without notice, so that my children and their spouses can go to dinner, buy a car or “clean their house”

I do not have to drain my bank account, over and over and over, to pay car insurance, pad a bank account, update someones work wardrobe or buy a toy.

I do have the right to have the phone answered when I call, receive visits that don’t cost me anything in the way of time or money, and be appreciated.  Period.

 

Maybe if I read this everyday, I will begin to believe and live it.

the Happy Medium

Yesterday I stopped  at Oldest daughter’s and played with her two wonderful children for an hour, and then headed to youngest daughters and played with her wonderful oldest son while she nursed wonderful youngest son, for an hour.  This morning I snuggled with our son’s  wonderful daughter who got dropped off at 6:15 because son had to go in to work at a ridiculous hour…then I dropped her off at 8:45 at preschool and then oldest daughter dropped her wonderful daughter off at 9:15 so that she could go buy the supplies for her wonderful  sons 4th birthday party .  Youngest daughter called to see if I was “coming over” today, her oldest was asking for me.  I  answered the phone to have youngest daughter’s husband ask if I could watch their wonderful  boys for a few hours tomorrow afternoon so he could take her out to dinner before she returns to work on Monday, when I will begin watching  wonderful 3 month old on Mondays and Fridays ( because I work Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.) And then, oldest daughter called to remind me that I was watching her two tonight at 5 while she and husband go look for a new car and buy their son’s birthday present.for his party Sunday…But hey, shes gonna order pizza so I don’t have to cook.

So, do you get my drift?  They are all wonderful creative, loving children.  All under the age of 5.  But, man, are their parents needy.  I love being with my grandbabies but 96 hours consumed by shifts of babysitting culminating with a ten hour shift with the newborn?  Grammys gonna be beat.  And then I get to go to work Tuesday….

We’re gonna have to have a family meeting, and soon!

Riding the Green Smoothie train

ImageOkay, so Im a little late to this, but suffice it to say I don’t lose weight well.  Blame it on years of taking care of everyone but myself or the fact that I have a daughter who battled bulimia and anorexia, or on the idea that I am pretty ego centric and think that I deserve EVERYTHING I want.  Blame it on the reality that when I look into the mirror I see smiling eyes and good hair….and sort of let the rest of it  go….  But, whatever the cause, I stay the same weight — a weight that, truth be told, is about 40 pounds more than I would like it to be.  (My cardiologist would up that number, but seriously?  Im 57, what would I do with all that extra skin?  bleh) 

So, last Tuesday I decided to buy a blender and whip myself up a green smoothie.  Despite the color, OMG, it really IS green…I found it tasty.  So I took a long walk, ate light the rest of the day, drank green tea…..and congratulated myself on making a good healthy start.  Taa Daa.   The next 6 days have followed that plan, except for the walking.  I like to walk, hell, I love to walk, yet I find many excuses NOT to walk each day.  Too cold, my foot hurts, company is coming, one of the grandbabies needs me…..gotta go to work…too cold…you get the picture. 

Well, its Tuesday again.  And while I PROMISE that this will not become a “my year of green smoothies” blog, I am going to get on the scale today and see if the change in diet has produced any result.  Because, you see, I don’t lose weight well.  Typically I drop a few pounds, start to see my jeans fitting a bit better and then binge.  Seriously.  Salted caramel ice cream, French bread, rice….shrimp, milk shakes.  Because, as my therapist told me a few years back when I was going through the “what am I doing in this marriage?” stage, I have a hidden need to not be attractive to men…or threatening to women.  So, if I present as a round grammy, toting knitting needles and a cozy quilt, Im safe.  Safe for you to talk to, safe from being accosted by a man, safe.  This, I think, is at the root of the weight issue.  At my present ( or actually last Tuesday’s) weight I’m presentable. Non threatening.  I can still get dressed nicely and not embarrass anyone, I can fit in chairs, through doors and go for a long walk with my grandbabies.  Safe. Curious to see where this all leads……will I be able to keep me while losing some of me?