This night, exactly 8 years ago, was probably the worst night of my life. worst. my baby, deeply entrenched in illness, came as close as anyone could ever come, to losing her fight for life. And she was fighting. Fighting me, fighting her dad, fighting herself. But this night, tonight, i feel none of that fear, that all encompassing terror that comes from the inability to make a difference — I feel peace. Triumphant peace, as for the first time in 8 years I didnt need to see her, to touch her, to hold her, to know that she is all right. It seems, finally, that we are both healed.